She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
