apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So many bounce houses so little time
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
