i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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