Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
