Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize