$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize