Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
