I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize