So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
