I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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