kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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