i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
