Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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