dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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