He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
