Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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