I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was confusing and full of hummus
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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