Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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