dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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