i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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