My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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