Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize