You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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