Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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