Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
