This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
