My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Shame - the story of my life.
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