I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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