What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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