More tranny stories later!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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