My friends, they love my intelligence
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
