Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
