It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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