Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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