Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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