girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
