Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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