He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
