ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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