Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
