I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
