God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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