I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
