That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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