what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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