i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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