Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
