good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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