i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
