we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
40s are totally the cure
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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