oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
now i know why i became what i already was.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
