The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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