i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sponge bath it is.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
