I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
