3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
