do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
