Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
