You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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