I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
