after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize